Context: A tech startup supplied a 700-word press release dense with marketing jargon and unclear calls-to-action. The goal: create a concise 180-word version that communicates core news, includes key quotes, and drives readers to a clear CTA.
Step 1: Identify the news — what changed?
We began by extracting the genuine news: product launch date, core benefit, and availability. Everything else was supportive — background, extended quotes, and partner details could move to supporting materials.
Step 2: Simplify the lead
The new lead states the busy facts in one sentence: who, what, when, and why. Use active verbs, minimize clauses, and avoid corporate gobbledygook. The new structure answers the basic journalist questions quickly.
“A tight lead is a gateway — if reporters can’t see the news in the first 20 words, they’ll move on.”
Step 3: Select one compelling quote
Rather than two long quotes, choose one concise, human quote that adds perspective and emotion. Quotes should explain impact, not restate product features.
Step 4: Create a clear CTA and boilerplate
A single call-to-action to the product page or press kit keeps readers oriented. The boilerplate provides necessary background in a short paragraph with links for more depth.
Outcome and tools
The resulting 180-word release preserved the essential news, improved readability, and increased pick-up in media outreach. Tools used: Hemingway editor for sentence-level tightening, and a checklist to ensure all journalist essentials were present.
Lessons learned
Every release benefits from ruthless edits: remove adjectives that don’t add meaning, convert passive sentences to active, and keep the journalist’s needs front and center. Shorter doesn’t mean less informative — it can mean more effective.
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